


It's Not a Wild Animal; It's a Mascot!

by EmmmaMmmm



Series: Camp Camp AU [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Camp Camp Fusion, Camp camp au, Excessive Swearing, Explicit Language, Fluff and Crack, M/M, More talk of drowning people in the lake, Neil is still feral, Summer Camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmmaMmmm/pseuds/EmmmaMmmm
Summary: “Motherfucker,” sighed Andrew. “Your stupid machine didn’t work, Aaron! It was supposed to kill Bee!”“In my defence,” said Aaron, “I was never really on-board with the idea of cold-blooded murder anyway.”“There’s a weak bitch in every squad who isn’t down with murder,” said Neil, nodding thoughtfully. “It’s good that we finally weeded this one out.”
Relationships: Kevin Day & Neil Josten, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Camp Camp AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095926
Comments: 5
Kudos: 157





	It's Not a Wild Animal; It's a Mascot!

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't plan it to be this way, but I think every fic I write within this AU is going to be a two in the morning mess. This time even more of a mess because I had a whole bunch of sherbet about an hour ago and am currently unsure about my capabilities of sleeping tonight.
> 
> Just like last time, you don't have to have watched Camp Camp to read this fic, but I would highly recommend it - not because it'll help you to understand the fic, I just really need other people to watch and enjoy Camp Camp. I crave validation, sue me.
> 
> I don't know if it'll count for trigger warnings but there's a lot of talk of drowning people in the lake (again), brief references to animal deaths (but not in any detail) and a very quick mention of Neil's father. I don't think there's anything too far in this though. Except for the inner workings of my mind which, if I do say so myself, are an absolute disgrace and should never be publicly available. Enjoy!

“Okay campers, today we’re going to meet our camp mascot, Larry the Hamster!”

Neil tilted his head at it. “Boring. Wait…” He held his hand out, and sniffed when Larry just crawled into his hand and curled up. “Yeah, boring.”

“Did you _want_ it to bite you?” Kevin frowned.

“A little!”

Neil set Larry the Hamster back into his cage, ignoring Betsy as he turned to head back up towards the tents.

“What’s the fun of a mascot if it isn’t likely to bite you?”

“Do you actually know what a mascot is?”

Neil shrugged. “I know that Nicky calls Andrew our mascot and doesn’t stop even with all the stabbing threats.” He sighed. “God, Andrew is on my level, you know?”

“Ahem!”

As if summoned by Neil’s musings, Andrew cleared his throat and caught everyone’s attention. He was stood to one side of an impressive Rube Goldberg machine, with Aaron on the other side. Neil watched as Andrew flicked a switch to set off a chain of events that led to a boulder flying across the campground and hitting just above Betsy’s hand – or rather, right into Larry the Hamster who’d settled down into Betsy’s hand after Neil had put him down. The boulder continued flying out past the edge of camp, and over the lake.

There was a moment of silence.

“Mother _fucker_ ,” sighed Andrew. “Your stupid machine didn’t work, Aaron! It was supposed to kill _Bee_!”

“In my defence,” said Aaron, “I was never really on-board with the idea of cold-blooded murder anyway.”

“There’s a weak bitch in every squad who isn’t down with murder,” said Neil, nodding thoughtfully. “It’s good that we finally weeded this one out.”

“Andrew Minyard!”

Betsy organised the campers into a line – or tried to, at least, because a group of teenagers were not going to be easy to organise into a line – and led them all down towards the lake and the woods.

“Okay, campers,” she said, “let’s find ourselves a new mascot!”

“Is this mandatory?” Kevin raised his hand. “It just seems like all the time we spend getting into crazy shenanigans could be time put to better use if we actually did the things we came here for.”

“Uh, speak for yourself,” scoffed Neil, “this is _exactly_ the sort of thing I came here for!”

“Thank you, Neil,” said Betsy brightly.

“Oh no, I have given you nothing to revere,” said Neil, snarling lightly at her. “I will betray you all when the opportunity arises. Especially my sworn enemy.”

Nicky frowned. “Camp counsellors?”

“ _Counsellors_ ,” said Neil.

“O- _kay_ , let’s get you all into teams!”

“Feel like drowning me in the lake?” Andrew leaned across to Neil. “I don’t want to be dramatic, but if I have to spend another day in Betsy’s company, I _will_ kill myself.”

“And deny _me_ the opportunity? Unacceptable.” Neil nodded sharply. “Give me the opportunity and I will _absolutely_ drown you in the lake.”

“Why is there so much talk of drowning anyway?” Nicky leaned over them, appearing as if out of nowhere. “I don’t think anyone mentions drowning in the show.”

“What show?”

“Hm?” Nicky tilted his head a little. “Did somebody say something? My old ears can’t hear properly.”

“Anyway,” said Andrew, pursing his lips, “I think I’m gonna have to back out of this one. Get a sick ass mascot for me, Neil?”

“I would do literally anything for you,” said Neil, nodding soberly.

Kevin tilted his head at him. “You’ve literally known him for about twenty four hours.”

“Exactly,” said Neil, “this relationship built up very slowly. He is now the most important person in my life.”

“We grew up together!”

“Andrew, you can’t just bow out of this activity,” scolded Betsy, “you were the one who killed Larry, so you have to help find the new one.”

“But Neil is right there,” said Andrew, gesturing with one hand. “Taking this opportunity away from him is practically cruelty at this point.”

“He’s right,” said Neil, “and to expand on that, if anybody else finds a good mascot before me, I will be asking Andrew to drown me in the lake.”

“And I will honour that wish!” Andrew pointed at him. “At that point, it’ll practically be a mercy killing.”

Betsy gaped between the two of them, apparently horrified at the way the conversation had turned. She took a moment, though, to acknowledge that since Andrew had arrived at camp, a dangerously high amount of conversations took that exact turn, so it probably wasn’t really anything to worry about.

“Well okay, then! Let’s go find a mascot!”

**

“Are you actually in love with Andrew?”

Neil hummed, looking up at Kevin. As per usual, they’d left the path the moment the opportunity presented itself, and though it was unclear if anybody else had realised, he was sure that there was nobody at the camp, even just twenty four hours after their arrival, who was still surprised by anything either of them did. Least of all Neil.

“What do you mean?”

Kevin tapped at his chin. “I can’t tell if you’re in love with him or if this is just your natural progression of friendship with somebody you’ve just met.”

“No, I’m in love with him,” said Neil, nodding. “Who else would have such an intimate knowledge of knives and how to use them? Well, other than my dad, I guess.”

“Your backstory is so tragic!”

“Hey, look!” Neil ignored Kevin’s statement, though it was obvious enough that it didn’t really matter that much anyway. “Animal tracks!”

Kevin followed the animal tracks with his eyes, which led into a massive cave, obviously belonging to a bear or a wolf. He opened his mouth to tell Neil not to go inside, because the risk of death was incredibly high, but he realised that he’d already hopped inside. Kevin sighed. One day, something would actually kill him, and then Kevin would be the one laughing.

Or maybe not. That might be a little bit cruel.

He followed Neil inside regardless, though he tiptoed in case Neil had already been eaten, so that he could make his escape, but he found Neil instead bent over an old bear carcass, with something in his arms.

“Neil,” he said slowly, “what’ve you got there?”

Neil stood up slowly, then turned around with an excited grin on his face. He presented the contents of his arms to Kevin. “Mascot!”

The cry Kevin let out was perfectly manly. “Neil, that’s a fucking _fox_! You can’t keep a fox as a pet!”

“It’s not a pet,” huffed Neil, “it’s a mascot!”

“It’s a wild animal!”

“Nuh uh!” Neil reached down and kissed the tip of its head. “It’s perfectly domesticated.”

“You have no survival instincts, huh?”

“Not a one.”

They arrived back at camp to everybody gathered around in a semi-circle, including Andrew who _had_ in fact been left out of looking for a mascot, simply because it was decided that he would probably kill the animal before bringing it back (he wouldn’t, he only stabbed _people_ , he wasn’t a _monster_ ).

At their approach, Andrew looked up. “See! Neil and Kevin, right on time. Did you get me a good mascot, Neil?”

“Uh huh!” Neil beamed, and held up the fox that he was carrying. “Mascot!”

It was surprisingly content to just curl up against Neil’s chest and nap as he walked to the beat of his heart. Neil liked the warmth, and the colour.

“See, I knew Neil wouldn’t disappoint,” said Andrew. “There you go, Bee, new mascot.”

“That’s a fox!” Betsy gaped. “How did you catch it?”

“Oh, it just walked right into my arms,” said Neil brightly. “I think that makes it my familiar.”

“Are you a witch?” Nicky narrowed his eyes at Neil.

“No, why?” Neil blinked a few times. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Betsy sighed after a moment, running her hands through her hair. “Well, it doesn’t seem like we have any options anyway. Our new mascot is the fox.”

Neil beamed as he set down the fox, patting it on the head excitedly. “You hear that? The camp belongs to you now!”

“No, Neil,” said Betsy urgently, “that’s not what a mascot-!”

“Hey!” Nicky pointed off into the lake. “Isn’t that Larry?”

Up onto the shore swam Larry the hamster, panting away with the exertion of swimming. Neil gaped.

“So _he_ can almost drown somebody in the lake, but I can’t?”

Andrew patted him on the shoulder. “It’s a cruel world, kid.”

“Yeah,” Neil sighed. “I guess I could always drown Kevin in the lake anyway.”

Kevin looked up, eyes wide. “What?”

The fox lunged forward and snapped up Larry in his jaw, eating him in one bite. Neil’s eyes lit up.

“Ooh, there’s a good mascot!”

Betsy sighed. “Yeah, okay, that seems about right.”

“So I guess that means we’re foxes now, Kevin,” said Neil. “Oh, if only my mother could hear this.”

“You’ll see her again at the end of camp,” said Nicky brightly.

“Oh, no, I won’t, she’s super duper dead.” Neil shrugged. “But I’m sure she’s looking up and thinking how proud of me she is.”

“Looking… up?”

“Oh, she is most definitely in Hell right now.”

Silence rang out for a moment, then Andrew laid his hand down on Neil’s shoulder. “Come on, Neil, let’s reward you for an excellent mascot find.”

“Ooh,” squealed Neil, “am I finally going to get to drown somebody in the lake?”

Andrew pulled a tube of chapstick out of his pocket and applied it liberally to his lips. “Even _better_.”


End file.
